Everybody asks who's the impostor.
but nobody asks how's the impostor -
sammyd221 sammyd221
23 sep 2020
Everybody asks who's the impostor. but nobody asks how's the impostor -
WHEN YOU HAVE SCHOOL PICTURE DAY AND YOU DONE SMOKED A BAG OF POT
WHEN YOU HAVE SCHOOL PICTURE DAY AND YOU DONE SMOKED A BAG OF POT
When you ask your crush for a pussy pic and she sends a pitcture of her cat
"er, > Oe
A\
ACCEPTABLE
eyes eyes
21 sep 2020
When you ask your crush for a pussy pic and she sends a pitcture of her cat "er, > Oe A\ ACCEPTABLE
ere dhen, imeer
y'all to stop fucking leaving the game because you didn't get to be the imposter
SilverSleet987 SilverSleet987
24 sep 2020
ere dhen, imeer y'all to stop fucking leaving the game because you didn't get to be the imposter
Me: I'm so lonely
Family: Why don't you try being more social?
Me:
swiftie_13 swiftie_13
20 apr
Me: I'm so lonely Family: Why don't you try being more social? Me:
My dog can see up to the sidewalk in the reflection of my crystal ball so he watches for people and cars but he looks like he's seeing the future.
Fox_Flame Fox_Flame
29 sep 2020
My dog can see up to the sidewalk in the reflection of my crystal ball so he watches for people and cars but he looks like he's seeing the future.
Me: Why aren't you ready for bed? I told you to get ready for bed 10 minutes ago.
My kid:
I was gonna listen to that, but then just carried on living my life
TiaCalenture TiaCalenture
27 oct 2020
Me: Why aren't you ready for bed? I told you to get ready for bed 10 minutes ago. My kid: I was gonna listen to that, but then just carried on living my life
When you are about to go out with the boys so your girl beats ya off to make sure you have no energy to chase hoes
When you are about to go out with the boys so your girl beats ya off to make sure you have no energy to chase hoes
Media: "video games cause violence"
Video games:
dad of twolom of 2
Sweetest Sweetest
26 sep 2020
Media: "video games cause violence" Video games: dad of twolom of 2
Me: "barks back at my dog*
My dog wondering why I just started swearing at her:
PINEY
Pixey Pixey
22 may
Me: "barks back at my dog* My dog wondering why I just started swearing at her: PINEY
Mr. House watching The Courier hack into the penthouse terminal holding a golf club
Lonethefox Lonethefox
18 feb
Mr. House watching The Courier hack into the penthouse terminal holding a golf club
Going to america and seeing their serving sizes
AS ff!
linearLove linearLove
21 sep 2020
Going to america and seeing their serving sizes AS ff!
When you rock back in your chair farther than expected and your life flashes before your eyes
FamGuy1 FamGuy1
28 may
When you rock back in your chair farther than expected and your life flashes before your eyes
Husband: why is there 100 dollars missing from my account?!
wife:
AlisVolatPropriis AlisVolatPropriis
6 oct 2020
Husband: why is there 100 dollars missing from my account?! wife:
Alright I'll bite. What do I do for a living
@Sp
@Sp y]
Work as a butler in a haunted mansion and put your little hand in the mashed potatoes
AFloridian AFloridian
22 jun
Alright I'll bite. What do I do for a living @Sp @Sp y] Work as a butler in a haunted mansion and put your little hand in the mashed potatoes
SpongeBob Facts!
SPONGEBOB FACT: It seems like a lot of you assholes didn't do this last year. Thanks for nothing @
Facts! @spongbo... 29 Dec 19
SPONGEBOB FACT: If you start watching Band
Geeks at exactly PM on December
31st, then Sweet Victory will begin to play exactly at midnight. This will ensure you go into 2020 feeling on top of the world. You can...
Lego_Plo_Koon Lego_Plo_Koon
27 sep 2020
SpongeBob Facts! SPONGEBOB FACT: It seems like a lot of you assholes didn't do this last year. Thanks for nothing @ Facts! @spongbo... 29 Dec 19 SPONGEBOB FACT: If you start watching Band Geeks at exactly PM on December 31st, then Sweet Victory will begin to play exactly at midnight. This will ensure you go into 2020 feeling on top of the world. You can...
That one friend who doesn't
touch his popcorn and drink before the movie starts.
He is a man of focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will
Realvision Realvision
30 mar
That one friend who doesn't touch his popcorn and drink before the movie starts. He is a man of focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will
IF YOU MURDER SOMEONE BURY THE VICTIM
6-10 FEET UNDERNEATH DEAD
BODY. SNIFFING HOUNDS WILL DIG UP THE DEAD DOG AND POLICE WILL THINK IT'S A FALSE POSITIVE
whosuperlockedyou:
tumbiedore-:
the-wolfbats:
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS
I'm more concerned with the fact that I'm taking murdering advice from a duck.
whatthefvckjay whatthefvckjay
21 sep 2020
IF YOU MURDER SOMEONE BURY THE VICTIM 6-10 FEET UNDERNEATH DEAD BODY. SNIFFING HOUNDS WILL DIG UP THE DEAD DOG AND POLICE WILL THINK IT'S A FALSE POSITIVE whosuperlockedyou: tumbiedore-: the-wolfbats: HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS I'm more concerned with the fact that I'm taking murdering advice from a duck.
2050, when you order a fish burger.
JMIII_BUT_CANCER JMIII_BUT_CANCER
25 sep 2020
2050, when you order a fish burger.
Paul Walker was killed by his car,
Kobe Bryant by his helicopter
Me looking at my forklift
"Don't you dare"
BohemianSun BohemianSun
24 sep 2020
Paul Walker was killed by his car, Kobe Bryant by his helicopter Me looking at my forklift "Don't you dare"