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    • Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came home with his shirt ironed.
      PlantationPete 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can out pizza the hut
      Voodochild 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
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    • Wrong, Chuck Norris doesn't age, It's Age's 80th Chuck Norris.
      Ashitttyaccount 10 mar 2020
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    • Theres no streets named after him cause nobody wants to cross chuck norris
      Fondude 11 mar 2020
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    • He's not all that great. Kind of a real wuss if you ask me. If he was so tough, he'd come to my house and slam my head on my key-boarshsuxhsjMwkie7ehdhe8 ed bxbe
      JefferyLastname 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his room. It’s not dead it’s just too afraid to move.
      Gojira_1984 11 mar 2020
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    • When Chuck Norris was young and about to head off to college, he went up to his father and said "you're man of the house now." And left.
      TexKcreeper 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can sit in a corner of a circular room
      YetixQullerx 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once started a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together
      MasterSeth05 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can pop a whellie on a unicycle
      xainetheking 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is
      StormABrewin 11 mar 2020
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    • the fear of spiders is called arachniphobia. the fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
      xX_Gamer420_Xx 10 mar 2020
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    • When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had two missed calls from Chuck Norris
      SolarBeef 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
      SkarletHuntress 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago, The Grim Reaper is too afraid to tell him
      GuyontheInternet 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris is an actor in every star wars movie, he plays the force.
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    • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin, it’s descendants are now known as giraffes
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    • Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and k i l l e d 20 people. Then the grenade exploded.
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    • Once, chuck Norris pissed in the gas tank of a semi on a dare. That semi is now know as Optimus prime
      Aceventura5535 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
      bwlims 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
      DirtyBill87 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they’re just call the Islands.
      BoxerPops 10 mar 2020
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    • After decades of research, scientists found that Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried
      DrChef 11 mar 2020
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    • Church Norris doesn’t turn the shower on, he just stares at it until it starts to cry
      BigBren 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter
      AitaxbTwitch 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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    • Chuck Norris once returned his parachute after it didn’t deploy
      Le_Strider 11 mar 2020
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    • Superman and Chuck Norris once made a bet - whoever lost had to wear their underwear on the outside
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    • Chuck Norris once swallowed a rubix cube and shit it out solved
      TheYellowlmposter 11 mar 2020
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    • This comment section feels like 2012 all over again
      NoNamesUntaken 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris built the house he was born in
      frock2300 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris is actually in a heated law suit with NBC. They stole the names of his right and left leg, "Law and Order."
      ChrisXIV417 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
      Carlucci987 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris beat the elite four with a magicarp
      linktothelegend 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris has a bear-skin rug, it’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move
      MormonStripper 11 mar 2020
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    • The boogie man looks under his bed for Chuck Norris
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    • Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best damn lemonade you’ve ever had
      TheFantasticMrFox 11 mar 2020
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    • Kids piss their name in the snow but Chuck Norris pisses his name into concrete
      GudSuk 11 mar 2020
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    • Yeah, jesus christ can walk on water, but chuck norris can swim through land
      tall_guy_22 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris counted to infinite. Twice
      FNJlbFUasshole 11 mar 2020
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    • If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Chuck Norris
      xXRuemug13 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can touch MC hammer
      Silmaril 11 mar 2020
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    • Every time he does a push up the earth is pushed further and further out of orbit
      a_Velociraptor 11 mar 2020
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    • When Chuck Norris showed up in ancient Egypt the Pharaoh shit a brick. Not to be outdone Chuck Norris shit the pyramids.
      PsychoticPilot 11 mar 2020
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    • Scientists have finally calculated the power of the Big Bang. It measures 1 CNRK. One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick
      LostUlfhednar 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once threw a rock in the woods. The dinosaurs are now extinct.
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    • He can unscramble an egg
      pizas4breakfast 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris is the only man alive who can kick you in the back of the face
      IeatShit 11 mar 2020
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    • He delivered a kick that could shatter bones into the croch of indiana jones.
      What_is_a_pfp 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can K1ll two stones with one bird
      becuzimloco 11 mar 2020
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    • He sleeps with a pillow under his gun
      somedaykid 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. It's too bad he's never cried.
      HeavyTrooper 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once wrestled a 30 foot snake. Then he realized he was masturbating
      GOSUKANEGG 11 mar 2020
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    • Once Chuck Norris was bitten by a poisonous snake after 8 gruesome painful hours the snake finally died
      MrEqqHead 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris’s dna isn’t a double helix, its barbed wire
      Author4God 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can cook “Minute Rice” in 58 seconds.
      slurpburp 11 mar 2020
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    • They tried to make chuck Norris toilet paper but they failed because it wouldn't take shit from anyone.
      dadjokes11 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare, he only eats unicorns
      Wax24 10 mar 2020
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    • Fun fact he can trip you with a cordless phone!
      hot_shot_pics 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once had a starring contest with the sun and the sun lost
      3DPOOLL 11 mar 2020
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    • Chick norris doesn’t do push-ups. He pushes the earth down
      MetallicSpace54 11 mar 2020
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    • I'm so happy to see people still making up new ones, some of these are fucking gold
      Dooberton 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris doesnt go over the hill, the hills too busy running from him
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    • Chuck Norris can speak Russian... in French
      BDub520 12 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris has no chin. Under his beard, there's another fist
      machomannn 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built with his bare hands
      MerryBan 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris is 80...
      TheChefSeeley 11 mar 2020
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    • When Chuck was asked how many pushups could he do he replied, “All of them.”
      Mane_Cheetah 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
      adaso 11 mar 2020
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    • Rather than being birthed by natural means, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Hence the term "C-section"
      A_pear 13 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.
      SRTBoat 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can see John Cena AND Drax.
      probably_nobody 12 mar 2020
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    • His daughter lost her virginity but he got it back
      charly52 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can parallel park a train
      Kut4Rebecca 11 mar 2020
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    • Death had a near-Chuck Norris experience
      PoisonousIvy 11 mar 2020
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    • Death is scared of two people, Betty White and Chuck Norris
      somethingusername 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris had a contest with Superman, loser had to wear his underwear outside his clothing.
      CrazyFuzzy 11 mar 2020
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    • When chuck Norris does push ups he’s not pushing himself up he’s pushing the world down
      CHAD_PIG 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris kiIIed 23 people with a pistoI... then he started sho0ting
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    • Chuck Norris doesn’t chew gum he blows bubbles with beef jerky
      Adrenoch 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter
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    • Chuck Norris is really a pacifist cause he can pass a fist through your face
      Saint0909 11 mar 2020
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    • God said "Let there be light." Chuck Norris replied "Say Please."
      TrevorCarson 11 mar 2020
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    • At night the boogeyman checks his closet for chuck Norris
      _343_Guilty_Spark 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris took a vacation to the Virgin Islands. He came back and they were renamed “the islands”
      miketheonetrugod 11 mar 2020
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    • According to Einstein’s theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday
      maymay262 12 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can drown a fish
      GuitarTheory 12 mar 2020
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    • When Chuck Norris does push ups...he doesn't push himself up...he pushes the Earth away.
      FlashOMatic 10 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once gave a box of watches to a bunch of kids. You now know them as the power rangers
      Yukoncornlius 11 mar 2020
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    • He tells the sun not to come up until he’s ready
      DoubleSunday 11 mar 2020
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    • chuck norris knows what obama's last name is
      Kasagure 12 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris actually died at the age of 57, but death was too afraid to tell him so hes still here
      Faraam 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck norris remembers the future
      coleosys 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris can walk on water and swim through land
      WesK86 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris once won a NASCAR race, on foot.
      Kel_7 12 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris drove his mother home from the hospital and then took care of her
      mymeats 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
      Degtyarev 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris was there for his fathers birth
      Adrian_6 11 mar 2020
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    • Chuck Norris taught his dad how to ride a bike.
      Dylskinn 11 mar 2020
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